Let’s talk about bed – chronic illness style.
My bed and I have a love hate relationship, with mostly love and a little hate.
On Instagram, I was scrolling through my feed to see that the majority of my pictures are taken from my bed. My heart sank a little and I started to feel bad, guilty, embarrassed. I can’t pinpoint one emotion, but I think I felt like I should have a greater variety of photos. And don’t even get me started on those should statements. But I see so many people with beautiful pictures from hiking, biking, and even bright colored foods that look so good and delicious! Why is it that I can’t seem to get a picture to look that good??
But I digress.
My bed is where I spend the majority of my time on my days off and when I come home after school, appointments, internship, etc. And there is no right or wrong on social media. My account is my experience in this crazy world. It is what it is. My bed is a huge part of my life and where I do everything. From school work, to sleeping, to watching television, to blogging, to reading, to resting, to just laying. As someone who struggles with multiple chronic illnesses, I have come to find that a good bed is a must – an essential to living. Why? Simply because it is where I spend a lot of time when I am home. Sometimes I will lay in bed for hours half asleep, or feel like I am being weighted down and it takes all of the effort I have to get up. I love my bed, because it allows me to rest. It gives me comfort when I am not so comfortable. But there is also a small portion of me that hates it. I hate my bed at times because I almost feel like it is a confinement. Of course I don’t have to be in bed, but sometimes it feels like once I am in bed I cannot leave. Sometimes, the fatigue and exhaustion is so bad that it’s the only place I can and want to be. In this sense, it can be like a prison, because I want to be out in the world. I do not want to be sleeping for hours during the day, or feel stuck in bed all afternoon. I want to be able to get into bed at night sleepy, and wake up refreshed and ready to take on the entire day.
But that isn’t my reality – and that is okay. I am learning to embrace this life. I appreciate the little things, like riding my bike up and down my long driveway, sitting outside in the sun, reading a good book, and playing with my dog. I capture those moments, too. It may feel like those instances are blips in time compared to the amount of time I spend in bed, but it makes those moments that much more special and enjoyable.
And I am going to rock those photos from bed – because I have nothing to apologize for. My only hope with my IG account, and this little blog, is that it can bring hope and comfort to others. I share my story not so much to make it known where I have been and what I currently go through, but to let others know that they aren’t alone, and to connect with others who get it.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
I like to remember this quote, especially when it comes to social media. What we put out there is our own experience, and you cannot compare apples to oranges. How many likes you have, where you take your pictures, what your pictures look like – that does not really matter. In fact, it does not matter at all.
The point of this post? I don’t really know if there is one.
And yes, I am writing this from bed. 🙂